So You May Live
by mellarkarry
Summary: You'll get through this, Annie, and you won't be alone, because I'll always be with you. I'll be your strength. / Finnick's last days.
1. Chapter 1: The Letter

**The idea for this story has been in my mind for a while, so I decided to try it out. I'm also working on my other stories, so if you want you can check them out too. Enjoy (: **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**

You'd think that the great Finnick Odair, Victor of the 68th Hunger Games and survivor of the 3rd Quarter Quell would not have any problems writing an ordinary letter.

Wrong.

_But it's no ordinary letter,_ he thought to himself. It was easier writing the other ones, because he already had it all mapped out in his head, but this one proved to be the hardest to write.

"_Just write from the heart,"_ he mumbled under his breath. He turned to the other side of his bed and faced Annie.

For the first time since they arrived in District 13, Annie finally managed to sleep restlessly for more than 5 hours straight. He liked to think that it was because their wedding was just yesterday.

To say that it was perfect would be an understatement. It was everything he wanted, and it was good for everybody to take their mind off the war that was going on above ground. Although Finnick had wanted to have the wedding at home in District 4, both him and Annie decided that they didn't want to wait until the war was over. He didn't have to go home to have his wedding; home was where Annie was.

Finnick had never felt happier in his life. When they were pronounced husband and wife, he felt as if his heart could leap out of his chest and he couldn't believe his luck; he couldn't believe that someone like Annie would love him. He couldn't believe that someone like Annie would even _allow _someone like him to love her, let alone marry her. But she did. And the wedding was a public announcement to everybody that Annie was his and he was Annie's, and they were bound together forever.

He didn't know about Annie, but yesterday was definitely the best day of his life.

Finnick smiled at the thought. He tucked the loose strands of her hair that had fell onto her face behind her ear and stroked her cheek gently. His thumb went over the tip of her upper lip and then traced the outline of her lips.

Annie was his motivation to fight the war, but at the same time the reason why he didn't want to. He knew full well that by fighting in this rebellion would mean putting his life on the line. He might not come back. And he didn't want to fight for his selfish reasons: going to war mean being away from Annie. Sure, he wouldn't be there to ward off her nightmares and he wouldn't be there bring her back to reality, but he knew that if somehow, she got hurt, or if Snow got his hands on her _again_, he would probably go crazy. People say that Annie's the crazy one and Finnick was always the one to bring her back from wherever she went in her mind, but it was almost the complete opposite. In fact, Annie was the only thing that kept him alive. As long as Annie was alive, Finnick was too. Finnick knew that he was weak, but Annie was strong, He knew that she could survive without him. She wouldn't necessarily be _living_, but she would survive.

Besides, she would have someone else to take care for her very soon.

He brought his hand down to her stomach and rubbed it gently. He planted a kiss on her abdomen and forehead, turned to his bedside table and set off to write the letter with newfound determination.

_Dearest Annie,_

_I trust that Katniss has passed this on to you._

_If you are reading this, it means that I am now your guardian angel. That should be quite reassuring, right?_

_You are strong, Annie. You're the strongest person I know, and although you may not think so, just know that I do. You'll get through this, Annie, and you won't be alone, because you'll have Johanna, Katniss, Peeta and even Haymitch to help you, and I'll always, always be with you. I'll be your strength if you let me; I'll help you carry on._

_And don't you dare think for a second that you don't have anyone to be strong for, because you do. Your little angel needs your strength and love. I just know you'll be the best mother and friend to our child._

_And if you're feeling down, when you feel like the weight of and the burdens of the world are on your shoulders and when you feel yourself slipping away, know that I'm in your heart, I'll be _your _little angel, and that I loved you, love you, and always will love you._

_Love always,  
Finn_

_**I have the next two chapters planned, so please bear with me. Reviews? (:**_


	2. Chapter 2: The Last Moment

**You guys are too kind :') Thank you for the reviews and favourites! This is the last chapter and after this I will have an epilogue. **

**I couldn't find the bit when Finnick gave Katniss the letter, so I just made it up. Anyway, enjoy (:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.**

"_Can you do me a favour?"_

"_Depends on what you want me to do."_

_Finnick ran a hand through his tousled hair and said as he held out a folded letter, "Will you pass this on to Annie after the war?"_

_Katniss raised her eyebrows curiously. "Why can't you just give it to her yourself?"_

_Finnick sighed. Why couldn't he just give it to Annie himself? It would be much easier to just get it over with before he left. But Finnick just didn't want to admit that he was afraid that if he saw Annie upset he definitely wouldn't be able to leave her alone in Thirteen without him to take care of her. But he needed to. He needed to this for her, himself and most of all, their child. He needed to know that their child would grow up in a world without having to worry about Reaping Days or President Snow, and he could only do that if he went to fight. But he couldn't tell Katniss that. So he told her the half- truth._

"_I might not make it back," said Finnick quietly._

"_You're giving up already?" said Katniss incredulously while flailing her hands in the air. "We haven't even gone into the battlefield and lifted a finger to fight, and you're giving up?"_

"_I'm not giving up. It's just in case I don't make it back. She might think that I left without saying goodbye."_

_They let the sentence hang in the air. Katniss stared at Finnick and found it hard to believe that this was the Finnick that paraded around the City Circle almost complete naked in front of millions of people; the Finnick she thought she knew was fearless and arrogant. He would be positive that he made it home to Annie._

"_Please, just promise me you will. This is the only favour I will ever ask of you. Please?"_

_Katniss hesitated, but sighed and took the letter from his hands and slid it in her breast pocket._

"_Fine."_

xxx

Finnick had wanted his death to be peaceful; he wanted to die with Annie holding his hand, his child on his left and the sea in the background.

He certainly didn't want a bunch of mutts to chase him to death.

Ahead of him were Pollux, Katniss, Peeta, Creassida and Gale. After losing Castor, Homes and Mitchell, he couldn't lose anybody else, so he made sure they were all in front of him.

The mutts were about 100 metres behind him, but they were gaining on him, and fast.

They reached the base of the platform, and Pollux helped the others up the ladder to the top. By the time Gale was ready to climb, the mutts were only about 60 metres behind.

"Go, go, go!" urged Finnick as Gale set his feet on the rungs of the ladder.

Gale turned back and said, "Come on, Finnick! You can't stay back; we still have time!"

40 metres.

Finnick shook his head and said, "I'll hold them back. Go ahead, Gale, before they catch up to you."

30 metres.

Gale's eyes softened as he said, "Annie needs you to come home."

Finnick froze for a moment. Gale had easily found his weakness and used it as an advantage. After all, Annie was the only thing that wanted him to follow Gale. She was his kryptonite.

_I'm doing this for her,_ he thinks to himself. _Annie won't be my weakness; she's going to be my strength._

10 metres.

Finnick shook his head once more and said firmly, "She needs me to fight for her."

And then he fell back to the ground with a thud.

Finnick gasped as he felt the first mutt claw at his back. The next mutt grabbed at his leg and he could not hold back the scream that escaped his lips. Then he felt both his arms and legs being yanked, and huge bit on his neck.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're at your final moments. Finnick thought of the first time he met Annie, when he had his first private session with Annie during the Games, their first kiss, and how at that moment, he knew for sure that she was the one that he wanted to live the rest of his life with.

He could feel what used to be his skin now just bloody and torn slobs of meat. As he felt a mutt pounce onto his chest, Finnick knew that his time was near.

He heard Katniss yell 'nightlock' three times. He was somewhat grateful that his friend decided to quicken his death; he wouldn't be breathing for much longer anyway.

When he heard the clink of metal hit the ground, he thought of Annie's emerald green eyes and thought that it was nice to have her eyes the last thing that he saw.

_For you Annie. I'm not going to die in vain; I'm going to die a father, a hero and a husband._

**__EPILOGUE NEXT. I need a name for Finnick's child (girl or boy, doesn't matter), so if you have any ideas, please review. If you don't, still review :D**

**One more chapter coming up;_ keep this on your alerts ;)_**


	3. Chapter 3: Epilogue

**Note: Finnick is **_**the **_**Finnick Odair; Finn is his son.**

"Happy birthday, Finn."

Finn smiled as his mother gave him a hug. She held him at arm's length and brushed the loose curls from his forehead.

Finnick Kai Odair, also known as Finn, was the son of Finnick and Annie Odair. He was born 5 months after Finnick's funeral and shared the same birthday as his mother.

He had the best of his parent's looks and personality. He inherited his father's smile and nose, but he had his mother's eyes and hair. He had Finnick's humour and Annie's gentleness. He was also extremely talented at the trident and excelled in swimming and fishing, just like his father. He was a good balance of his parents.

"Happy birthday to you too, Ma."

Annie smiled. "Thank you, Finn. I can't believe you're 14 years old now!" Annie sat down on the couch and looked up at her son. "Your father would be so proud of you."

Finn grinned and kissed her on the forehead. Although he gets told that every other day, he thought that it was the best compliment anybody could give him. After hearing stories and watching videos of his father, he was proud to say he was the son of Finnick Odair.

"I'm going to swim, Ma. I'll be before at lunch time," said Finn as he ran upstairs to change.

Before he left, Annie passed him a small bag that contained an apple and a towel. "Can you maybe come home 2 hours before lunch? I need help cooking; Uncle Gale and Aunt Johanna are coming for a visit today. Aunt Katniss and Uncle Peeta might be able to make it too."

Finn smiled at the thought of seeing his aunts and uncles again. His mother had told him that they were very good friends of hers and his father. But Finn felt that he was closer to Johanna, because she was there for the first few years of his life, helping his mother take care of him. Johanna Mason was a great friend and aunt to him and the things that Annie didn't teach him, Johanna taught him. While Annie taught him how to swim, fish, how to knot and the basics of throwing a trident, Johanna taught him how to count and recite his ABC's. The only thing that Johanna didn't do was swim. She wouldn't let the tip of her toes touch the seawater and barely took a shower. When Finn turned 12, she told him that when was imprisoned in the Capitol, they used water and electricity to torture her, to get rebel information out of her. She also told him a lot about Annie and Finnick. She said that if it weren't for him, Annie would not be alive. From that day onwards, Finn always felt that it was his responsibility to take care of her like she took care of him, to keep her alive. Therefore, Finn was closer to her than any other person, apart from his mother. Then she moved to District 2 with Gale. Uncle Peeta and Aunt Katniss would visit often and he enjoyed spending time with them.

"Will do, Ma."

And with that, Finn rat outside the back door and to the ocean ahead.

xxx

Finn swam until his arms and legs felt sore. He got out of the water and sat cross-legged on the sand and stared at the view. Both him and his mother had a habit of waking an hour before sunrise, so by the time he finished swimming, the sun was just rising and the sky was a soft shade of pink and orange.

He always found refuge in the sea. Swimming in the endless stretch of cool, azure sea helped calm him down whenever he felt angry, and whenever he needed some place to think, he would always go and sit on the soft sand and clear his thoughts.

He would also come here when his mother had her trances. When he was younger, he would wail and beg for his mother to wake up. He would scream until he could scream no more, and cry until his eyes were sore and red. Back then, Aunt Johanna would just usher him away and wait for her to wake up. And after she left, Finn felt a bit hopeless. So when these things happened, he would just go outside to the sea and swim and she would eventually come out of it. It became a routine. But as he grew older, he learned how to cope with these occasional trances. He knew that to bring her back to reality, he couldn't do anything but wait patiently. But he also knew one thing that quickened the process: bringing her out to sea. Not dragging her in the sea, but just laying her down on the sand or close enough to the sea so her feet would touch the water. And eventually, she would wake up from the trance, apologize a hundred times and then get on with her day. On a good day, these trances would last a minute or so. Sometimes it was half an hour. Sometimes it took an hour. But he would always be by her side, hoping and praying it would be over soon.

He lied down on his towel, munched on the apple and basked in the warmth of the sun and listened to the seagulls squawking against the whispering of the wind.

It was now the beginning of the summer holidays, which was why his aunts and uncles were coming to visit. Holidays were also a good thing for his mother, so when she had a trance, he could be around her. If she had a trance when Finn was having school, he would come home and find her just frozen in place. So Finn felt less worried about his mother when it came to holidays.

Holidays also meant more fishing, swimming and practicing his trident; all the things he loved doing, and he could do it for 8 weeks long without anyone or anything really stopping him.

When he saw the sky slowly turn blue, he picked up his towel and threw the core of the apple in the rubbish bin. His feet left imprints on the sand as he walked back into his house.

xxx

"Finn! It's so good to see you again!"

Finn laughed and gave both Katniss and Peeta a hug. Finn grinned when he saw Johanna and Gale step through the door and threw his arms around her. Johanna smiled and hugged him tightly and

"I swear, you've grown at least 2 inches since we last saw you!" said Peeta with a smile. Then his face softens as he says softly, "You look more and more like your father; an uncanny resemblance of him."

Finn smiled softly. "Thanks."

Katniss gave a tight smile and was still uncomfortable at the mention of Finnick. Until this day, she still felt that she could've saved him. Maybe if she had acted differently, Finnick might've been standing right next to his son with his arm around Annie.

Annie went to the front door and beamed when she saw Peeta and Katniss. She walked up to them and said "Nice to see you again! Come, come; lunch is ready."

xxx

"Finn, can you please go to the attic and get the huge photo album? It should be in one of the boxes that were opened," said Annie.

Finn nodded and ran up to the attic. It was a small room and the only light there was from the small window that allowed only a little bit of sun to shine through.

There were about 10 boxes in neat rows in the corner of the room, so he decided to get started.

The first three boxes were filled with his old toys, tattered books and clothes. He skimmed through them quickly, just looking out for the photo album. Getting restless with the failed attempts, he hastily opened the fourth box and saw that it was full of clothes. Finnick's clothes. Finn froze for a moment, then took a button-up shirt out from the pile. He held it close to his nose and breathed in the scent. The shirt smelt of seawater and sugar cubes. Finn smiled and tied the sleeves around his shoulders, wanting to keep a scent of his father around him.

The next box had pictures, stacked in neat piles. He recognized his father in all of them. In one picture, he was fishing, in another; he was holding his trident and posing for the camera. Finn flicked through the photos and stopped at one.

It was a picture of their wedding day.

Johanna had told him that they had their wedding in an old ballroom in Thirteen during the war. He saw the contentment on both their faces. They were positively glowing with happiness; Finn didn't think that his mother had ever looked so happy before.

He put it in his pocket, wanting to place it in his room later. Just when he was about close the box, a yellowed envelope slid out from the side of the box.

_For Finn._

Finn creased his eyebrows and picked it up gingerly and opened it slowly. It was dated a year before he was born. But how?

_Dear Finn,_

_You must be wondering why this letter is addressed to you and was written before you were born._

_I don't know any other way of saying this, so let's just say you found the letter your father wrote for you after he found out that he was going to have a son._

_If you're reading this, that means I'm no longer alive._

_When I found out that Annie was pregnant, I just knew that he was a boy. I just had this gut feeling about it, and my instincts told me that he was going to an amazing child to Annie and I. His name would be Finn._

_It kills me to know that I can't be there with my family. I want more than anything to be there, holding your mother in my arms. I've always to see you take your first steps; teach you how to use the trident and even go on father-and-son fishing trips. _

_But it would kill me even more if I had to do it in a world where Snow was alive and worrying about you going through the damned Hunger Games. I would much rather let my loved ones live in a world without the things that I fought for. I fought for you and Annie's safety. I would rather die knowing that I did something to help make the world my son was to grow in a better one, than die knowing that your name has been in that Reaping bowl more than 20 times. _

_Everything I did, I did because I love you; not out of vain, but out of love. _

_I love you son, and know that I'm watching you above. No matter what you do, no matter what happens, I am proud of you._

_Love always,_

_Your father _

**Thank you so much for reading! If you want you can check out my other stories too (: Reviews?**


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